Because silence never protected me – and it won’t protect you either.

Have you ever been told to take the high road?

You know the famous phrases: “When they go low, we go high,” “Rise above it,” “Be the bigger person,” yada yada yada.

Well, I say FUCK ALL OF THAT.

I am so SICK of taking the high road. I feel like I’ve taken the high road my entire life and it has gotten me absolutely nowhere. All I have to show for it is so many things left unsaid that needed to be said, being taken for a poes!, and people thinking they can play in my fucking face.

Now you may be wondering what brought this on. All I have to say is: It gets to a point. It really gets to a fucking point. And I’ve reached mine.

I recently realised that choosing violence is actually a form of self-care. Because “taking the high road” is always framed in a way that has always made me feel uncomfortable. Why does taking the high road require me to ignore myself and consider someone in a situation where I am not being considered at all?

Yeah. I call bullshit on that.

And excuse my French in this one, but like I already said – it gets to a fucking point.

Anyway, happy new year guys! 😘I know it’s a bit late to still be saying that, but hey – I may curse like a sailor, but I still have manners.

It’s been a hot minute since I came to my little corner of the internet to yap. Your girl is in her 30s now. An entire 32-year-old grown-ass woman. And I feel like it’s only now that I’m really getting into being authentically myself – upholding my boundaries, advocating for myself, and standing up for myself.

The 30s have truly been a rollercoaster, in the most character-building way possible.

Let’s get back to the topic at hand: choosing violence at your earliest convenience.

I am obviously not saying go around beating people up (but I am also not saying don’t 👀 – jk… kinda). This is really about BOUNDARIES. I have learnt that you need to be ruthless and uncompromising when it comes to your boundaries, because one thing people will do if you let them? They will take the bloody piss, mate!

I’ve also come to realise that there is no reward for being “nice” all the time. No medal for constantly putting people first while neglecting yourself in the process. Be selfish if you have to, because here’s another thing I’ve learnt:

NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE YOU.

Sometimes self-care looks like cursing people out, blocking people, and just crashing tf out. Write that paragraph – you don’t have to send it… but I would. Not for them, but for you. Because keeping that stuff bottled up inside is only going to affect you. You’re the one crying yourself to sleep while they go on about their life peacefully, completely unbothered, while your peace is in shambles.

I also got to a point where I got tired of venting to my friends about the same shit. And shoutout to my chosen family for always holding it down for your girl – but man, it really does get to a fucking point. They may not get tired of hearing me vent, but I got tired of bitching about the same shit in different fonts… all because I was not upholding my boundaries.

I don’t really know how to close this one because it feels like verbal diarrhoea – but it needed to be said.

Choose violence at your earliest convenience. Not because you’re angry – but because you finally choose yourself!

Till next time, my loves,

xoxo, Refiloe 💕